There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
