id be glad to
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
