her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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