Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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