how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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