What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
