He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
