need another drink. this is the easiest way
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Im part way to drunk.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
