Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
