I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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