i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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