I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
