kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
