google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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