there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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