she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
