Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You need Xanax blowdarts
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
