We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
