No awkward lesbian experiences without me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
