thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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