we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
