Will you blow on my dice?
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize