u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
