You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
