Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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