evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
