he thought i was a dude.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
