alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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