So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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