So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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