I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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