Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
