i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
