my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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