Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
