i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
