you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
