the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so let's talk penis.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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