toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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