1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
