Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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