I think I am morally bankrupt
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
