There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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