3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
