Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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