hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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