This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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