So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
