He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
