Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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