Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
zippers are such a cool invention
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
