that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
