you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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