stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize