i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
