Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
