Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize