Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
