her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
