it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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