We named our party play list daddy issues
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
