My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize